were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
