i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
