SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
