marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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