is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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