another moral hangover. fuck.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
