dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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