I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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