But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
