I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we're making bets on your personal life
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal