Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites