Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i think i have two assholes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?