did you get engaged???
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST