I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?