my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.