Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
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Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
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you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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