Your dad touched me again.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
