dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
