I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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