Already got asked if we're dating
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
smell my finger.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
