The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind