he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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