Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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