But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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