Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize