You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just want nice things and good sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They left me at home... I'm a liability
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
