who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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