Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize