are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
