How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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