this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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