Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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