Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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