That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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