We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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