He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
