Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
