i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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