My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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