You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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