my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
