I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
