so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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