her facebook's as public as her vagina
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
