hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
