Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
