i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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