Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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