I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
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