do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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