this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i think my cat just said my name.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
