its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
my liver is dry heaving
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
