We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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