I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
