I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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