You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
