she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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