she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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