fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
