Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You've changed since you got that strap on
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
