My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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