I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
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