so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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