I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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