i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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