So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The Olympian is in my bed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
