I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
